McGee, Ryan. Welcome to the Circus of Baseball. New York: Doubleday 2023. Print.
"Oh, man. I think that sumbitch is actually dead!"
Description:
Hardly the first sentence one might expect from a book about minor league baseball, but there it is. Turns out to be the thoughts of a spectator watching an in-game entertainment act called, "Captain Dynamite.' In this act, a family assembles a make-shift coffin around the father, loads him up with dynamite, seals the lid, and then ignites the whole thing to a thunderous blast. (He does recover, walks away, albeit a bit unsteadily, piles his kids and wife into their beat-up wagon, and proceeds on to the next gig down the road.)
It's just one of the fascinatingly unusual recollections of author Ryan McGee, currently a senior writer and co-host on ESPN, about his first sports job experience as a minor league baseball team intern in 1994. His memories of the trials, tribulations, and genuine goofiness of people, events, and work demands are set down in his wonderful new book, Welcome to the Circus of Baseball.
The Asheville Tourists play in McGee's favorite stadium from his childhood, McCormick Field. It's the same field where Crash Davis (Kevin Cosner) hit his final dinger before hanging 'em up in the film, Bull Durham. It's America's oldest ball park, and once hosted Cobb, Ruth, Gehrig, Bonds, and many other great players. 1994 also was the year Michael Jordan tried his hand at baseball and played for the Hickory Crawdads, although he never played against Asheville. Needless to say, the Tourists sold out all those home games anyway before the season even started.
McGee's various jobs include providing balls to the umpires, pulling the tarp over the infield on rainy days, stocking the Dairy Queen machine with gooey mixture (with disastrous results), running the concession stand, and providing beer to the star player, even though it was forbidden by the dugout rules. He once even donned the Tourist mascot outfit, Ted E. Tourist, the bear, for the team photo. The regular mascot was a college method actor who felt he had to "become one with the bear" and therefore could not be held responsible for his actions while in costume, specifically groping a few women fans..
McGee also wrestled with the 165-lb beer kegs on Thirsty Thursdays when every drink was only $1. He noted that most fans bought two beers, then returned to the back of the line, timing it so they were finished with those original two beers by the time they again reached the counter so they could get the same order again ... repeating this rhythm for the entire three-hour game, never watching a single batter. One Thursday, 66 kegs of beer were sold, about 8,600 servings to the 4,000 fans. Predictably, all Thirsty Thursday games were sold out.)
McGee also wrestled with the 165-lb beer kegs on Thirsty Thursdays when every drink was only $1. He noted that most fans bought two beers, then returned to the back of the line, timing it so they were finished with those original two beers by the time they again reached the counter so they could get the same order again ... repeating this rhythm for the entire three-hour game, never watching a single batter. One Thursday, 66 kegs of beer were sold, about 8,600 servings to the 4,000 fans. Predictably, all Thirsty Thursday games were sold out.)
McGee loved baseball, but some of his expectations were trimmed when the first busload of the team arrived:
The Tourists stepped out into the shadowy concourse behind the ballpark, not a superhuman gladiators arriving to take stock of the colosseum where they would do battle. No, they unloaded off the bus like someone had spilled a stack of bowling balls ."Where the hell are we?"
Instead of observing the actual Tourist ball playing, McGee focuses on the stadium itself ("The coaches' quarters were both so tiny that it never felt like you walked into them. It was more like you were putting them on.") and the behind-the-scenes workings of what makes a minor league team work; how fans get attracted to game (see Captain Dynamite and Thirsty Thursdays references above); and who exactly were the people who contributed to or watched the final product.
A few of the quirky individuals included:
- Ron McKee, Tourists GM, who bleached the baseballs to make old ones look new enough to use in games rather than buy new balls;
- James the Mountain Man who, dressed only in overalls, would dive into the bushes behind the fences to retrieve lost baseballs for reuse, not minding the snakes and other critters who frequently bit him;
- Big Mike who repeatedly throughout the game walked away from the concession stands carrying nachos, four hot dogs, and a large drink, and usually additional items for his consumption;
- The Circuit Rider who galloped in from right field on his horse, preaching and singing Bible-related sermons;
- Macaullay Culkin who was filming Richie Rich and needed someone to throw him some pitches. Another Tourist intern made $100 for this pitching gig, but GM McKee made $300 just from renting the pitcher's screen, a widely-repeated joke.
Memorable events included when author McGee and the interns mistakenly poured bags of kitty litter onto the infield dirt to dry it out for the next day's game, inadvertently inviting hundreds of feral cats to come to the park that night to use their new facilities. And don't forget the Great Mascot Brawl at the 1994 All-star game. Truly a sight to behold.
McGee has so many more stories that I could go on and on. Suffice to say, if you love baseball, especially the workings of minor league teams, and quality humorous writing, then Welcome to the Circus of Baseball is a great choice for you.
Don't tell me about the labor pains, just show me the baby.
- General Manager Ron McGee to the complaining intern/author Ryan McGee
Happy reading.
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If this book interests you, be sure to check out:
If this book interests you, be sure to check out:
Shelton, Ron. The Church of Baseball: The Making of Bull Durham: Home Runs, Bad Calls, Crazy Fights, Big Swings, and a Hit.
Humorous and detailed account of the filming of Bull Durham. (previously reviewed here)
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