Just as a chef always travels with his or her favorite knives, a professional pencil sharpener – or serious enthusiast—should always have his or her tool kid ready at hand.
Fortunately, the items needed for sharpening a pencil are not expensive. I bought everything I needed for less than $1,000 Most of my pencil-sharpening kit fits inside a handsome valise I found on the side of the road.
Description:
Just the right touch of serious and ridiculous in the opening sentence - exactly what I want from a book promising subtle humor firmly embedded in a reasonably sane theme. Can you imagine an entire 200+ page book on the gentle art of sharpening a pencil? Neither could I, but David Rees gently guides readers through this amazing process in How to Sharpen Pencils until you finish and wonder how he got all that vital information into such a small volume.
Rees starts by offering to sharpen your No. 2 pencils for you for $12.50 per pencil, promising "each pencil will get my closest attention!" However, in the book's Foreword, John Hodgman explains that Rees, recognizing the economic times as what they are, "is so committed to the craft that he would compromise his own sharpening livelihood in order to teach you how to sharpen your own pencils ... literally giving his trade secrets away."
Logically organized to assist even those with no prior knowledge about this artisanal skill and who have exhibited all thumbs in previous sharpening attempts, this book methodically covers in separate chapters (heavily illustrated with handsome photos) the supplies needed, the anatomy of the #2 pencil, and important warm-up exercises. Also detailed are the core tools, from pocketknife to single-blade pocket sharpener, single-burr and double-burr hand-crank sharpeners, and many more.
He reserves a few choice words for the mechanical pencils in his shortest chapter ("Mechanical pencils are bullshit."), and also for electronic pencil sharpeners (tools he requires for using this machine include a mallet and safety goggles, so you probably can anticipate how this chapter unfolds).
That's not enough for you? Well then, you'll be interested in the special chapters reserved for related pencil-sharpening activities including novelty techniques (holding the sharpener in your teeth, for example), mastering celebrity impressions while pencil sharpening, and even sharpening a pencil with your mind. Nothing is left unexplored and unexplained.
Inspiration for this helpful text came from a 1940 shipfitters' manual Rees found years ago written to teach men "the craft of steel ship assembly and repair." Applying this same style of careful instruction to the meticulous art of pencil sharpening, Rees has created a wonderful detailed, step-by-step process to this art.
The always very serious text is enhanced by highly useful and clarifying photographs of tools, varying degrees of pencil points achieved, proper insertion of pencil into sharpener, holding a knife and pencil in separate hands, and many more to guide the easily-perplexed reader where instructions otherwise might prove too complex or daunting.
The book wraps up with appendices for "Wines That Taste Like Pencils," "Recommended Web Resources," "Pilgrimage Sites for the Pencil Enthusiast" (including The Paul A. Johnson Pencil Sharpener Museum in Logan, OH - only a half-hour away from me!), and "Helpful Advice from the Florida Eye Center's Web Site, Reprinted in Its Entirety" (which reads, "If an object, such as a stick or a pencil, gets stuck in your eye, do not pull it out. Put a loose bandage on your eye. This is very serious. You need to go to the doctor right away."). Now you are fully ready to try sharpening a pencil for yourself.
Delightful. Inspirational. LIfe-changing. And who doesn't need a new skill to improve his/her life? Thank you, David Rees, for giving me the tools and techniques to explore new territories on my own.
Happy reading.
Fred
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If this book interests you, be sure to check out:
Henderson, Bill. Minutes of the Lead Pencil Club: Second Thoughts on the Electronic Revolution
Collection of short commentaries of the dangers of the wired world and the beauty of the simpler forms of communication via non-electronic, hand-written means from varied writers such as Russell Baker, Henry David Thoreau, Annie Proulx, Dave Barry, Farley Mowat, Nicholson Baker, and many more.
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