New Teeth

Rich, Simon. New Teeth. New York: Little, Brown 2021. Print.

First Sentences:

I am me own master and commander. I serve no king and fear no God. I would sooner cut a hundred throats than heed one order from a living man. When I strike, I take no quarter, for there be no mercy in me heart, just cold, black ice. Me cutlass is me only friend.


Description:

Bold words indeed from a dastardly pirate, in the opening story of  Simon Rich's wonderfully funny collection, New Teeth. This character, Captain Black Bones the Wicked, and his first mate, Rotten Pete, come across a three-year-old girl left onboard a ship they had just pillaged. They reluctantly agree to look after her (rather than have her walk the plank which Black Bones preferred), and soon find themselves going against the philosophy they hold most dear: they take demanding orders like "Up" from the girl. Of course, there is treasure to be pursued, but since only the girl can barely read, she must teach them a few letters to comprehend the treasure map. In return, naturally they teach her to say "Arrgh" a lot and whistle with her fingers, while the two pirates argue over parenting techniques. Loopy, crazy, and delightfully unexpected.

Each of Rich's stories is similarly fetching, such as:

• The narrative from a laser disk player about the past good times he experienced with his owner trying to woo girls, to the present and his looming obsolescence to a DVD player and an iPad;

• A tough-talking three-year-old detective trying to solve the mystery of his baby sister's missing unicorn doll;

•  A woman who was raised by wolves, but now leads a normal life...except on Thanksgiving when her wolf parents are invited to dinner;

• The psychologist who rescued and is now studying David Merrick, the "Elephant Man," now begins to fear his wife and Merrick are falling in love;

• An incredibly naïve and innocent Babe Ruth joins his first minor league team and tries to understand baseball, fearing he has made mistakes like when he hit a ball and it exploded, or when he missed the cutoff man and threw the ball so hard from centerfield on a fly to the catcher that it knocked the man over.

Simon Rich has become my new go-to author of unpredictable, laugh out loud (hate that expression, but here it is true) situations, people, and dialogue. Really? A toddler talking in Philip Marlow's hard-bitten noir detective speak? A pirate who gives his peg leg to a child as a doll which she in turn names "Peggy"? An escaped experimental 12' tall half-man, half-gorilla who saves his city from alien attacks, is given a medal, and then forced  into a desk job? A screenwriter who becomes cursed to listen to the Beauty and the Beast soundtrack with his child and pretend to be the beast every minute they are together?

I can't wait to read more of Rich's work, and wonder why it took hearing a random NPR reading of one of his stories to clue me in on this creative writer. He's written for Saturday Night Live, The New Yorker, and Pixar, and is the creator of the television series, Man Seeing Woman and Miracle Workers based on his books. He even won the Thurber Prize for American Humor. Where have I been all this time?

Anyways, please give New Teeth or any of his other short story collections a try. Quirky? Yes. Unexpected? Always. Laughable? Of course. Thought provoking? Yes, yes, and more yes. 

Happy reading. 

 

Fred

More book recommendations

About The First Sentence Reader blog

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If this book interests you, be sure to check out:

Rich, Simon. Hits and Misses.   

Although I have not yet read this, it is the collection of short stories that won him the 2019 Thurber Prize for American Humor. Got to be great, so I've reserved it and it's now waiting for me to be picked up at the library. Can't wait to delve into his unusual mind.

 

In Sunlight or in Shadow

Block, Lawrence, ed.. In Sunlight or in Shadow: Stories Inspired by the Paintings of Edward Hopper. New York: Pegasus 2016. Printp

First Sentences:

Bosch didn't know how people in this place could stand it.

It felt like the wind off the lake was freezing his eyeballs in their sockets.

      [from Nighthawks by Michael Connelly] 

Description:

So you think you want to be a short story writer? Here's a quick check on your potential. Take a painting, any painting, and write an interesting story that incorporates the painting's scene and people. Not as easy as it might sound, but it can be done, and done very well by skilled authors.

This was the challenging concept behind editor Lawrence Block's collection of short stories, In Sunlight or in Shadow: Stories Inspired by the Paintings of Edward Hopper
He asked seventeen of his writer friends to select a painting from Edward Hopper and write a short story to flesh out their interpretation of the action and people depicted in the painting. He got enthusiastic responses from such luminaries as Stephen King, Lee Child, Michael Connelly, and Joyce Carrol Oates, Gale Levin (an international authority on Edward Hopper), as well as several writers I had never heard of, but plan to read more of their writing very soon.

Here's some samples of their plots and a link for you to view the painting:

• Surveillance of a woman by a Los Angeles detective in the icy cold of Chicago. [from Nighthawks]

• A woman finds the person who gave her up for adoption and then goes to work for her anonymously as a hospice nurse [from The Story of Caroline]

• A house with a door that opens only onto the sea, with rooms that keep adding themselves to the house, and a chef who might be a descendant from Atlantis. [from Rooms By the Sea]

• A couple who casually hold people hostage in a closet in their quiet apartment while they coolly empty out the victim's bank accounts [from The Music Room]

• A painting that serves as a code for a Russian nuclear scientist. [from The Incident of 10 November]

Each story is so different, so well-written, and so clever in its incorporation of the painting's elements. I highly recommend the collection for the writing and the beauty of seeing so many of Hopper's somber, emotional paintings.

By the way, editor Block has carried this author/painting theme in several other collections, including From Sea to Stormy Sea with stories about seventeen American paintings, and Alive in Shape and Color using as the basis for background any painting from cave art to modern abstracts. I know what I'll be reading over the next few months.

Happy reading. 

Fred

Other book recommendations
About The First Sentence Reader blog

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If this book interests you, be sure to check out:

Block, Lawrence. From Sea to Stormy Sea   

Block collects seventeen stories with American art as the inspiration, from artists including Winslow Homer, Grant Wood, Helen Frankenthaler, Andy Warhol and fourteen more.

Block, Lawrence. Alive in Shape and Color  

Short story writers in this collection, including Joyce Carol Oates, Michael Connelly, and Stephen King, are allowed to choose any visual art piece as the basis for a new story. Wonderful.

Bears Discover Fire

Bisson, Terry. Bears Discover Fire and Other Stories. New York: Tor 1993. Print

First Sentences:

I was driving with my brother, the preacher, and my nephew, the preacher's son, on I-65 just north of Bowling Green when we got a flat.

Description:

Imagine yourself changing a flat car tire on some lonely wooded road on a dark night. Of course, your flashlight is flickering weakly. But then suddenly you are pleased to have an abundance of light. Looking up, you see a bear, quietly holding a fiery torch over your head. All you can think is, "Looks like bears have discovered fire." And there, in the woods, you notice them sitting around a campfire, quiet and calm. What could possibly happen next?

Such is the first story in Terry Bisson's wonderful collection of fantasy and sci-fi tales, Bears Discover Fire and Other Stories. This is the book for the lovers of the unusual, slightly off-kilter world that seems oh so real, or at least kind of close to our real life settings and the people we see every day. Close, yes, and yet odd and off-beat in unexpected ways. 

Among the stories in Bears Discover Fire are:

• "They're Made Out of Meat" - conversation between aliens observing humans;
• "George" - a boy born with tiny wings;
• "Necronauts"- three researchers who can die, resurrect, and tell what they saw;
• "The Message" - humans decode the first words from the dolphins;
• "Two Guys from the Future" - a visit from aliens who collect art;

And those are just a random sample of Bissen's imagination. He drops you into the middle of some far-fetched scenario, such as when the entire island of England slowly breaks away and starts to chug across the ocean, then somehow makes the situation seem entirely plausible without explaining the background leading up to the event and any conclusion (or none) that is reached.

Each story is fun as well as serious, fantastic as well as very human. It was a pleasure for me to read every tale, letting them lull you into a quirky world, then leaving you to think about the implications waiting for each character and even all of humanity when the story concludes.

I loved all of them and highly recommend them to everyone. Enjoy!

Happy reading. 

Fred

Other book recommendations
About The First Sentence Reader blog

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If this book interests you, be sure to check out:

Bradbury, Ray. The Illustrated Man.   

A series of fantasy and sci-fi stories depicted by the tattoos covering a man's body and brought to life as he sleeps, to the wonderment of his traveling companion. Each one a classic.

Chiang, Ted. Exhalation: Stories.   

Excellent, thought-provoking fantasy and sci-fi stories involving time-travel mishaps, a robot nanny, a story narrated by a highly evolved parrot, and many more exciting, fascinating stories. (previously reviewed here).

Exhalation: Stories

Chiang, Ted. Exhalation: Stories. New York: Knopf 2019. Print

First Sentences:

The story I have to tell is truly a strange one, and were the entirety to be tattooed at the corner of one's eye, the marvel of its presentation would not exceed that of the events recounted, for it is a warning to those who would be warned and a lesson to those who would learn.

Description:

I'll say right off the bat that I am a huge fan of Sci-Fi/Fantasy short story writer Ted Chiang and his mind-bending, exhilarating, and thought-provoking tales. His latest collection, Exhalation: Stories, continues his explorations into the world of the past, present and future in completely unexpected ways ranging from time travel to philosophy to alchemy to who knows what. Just plunge in to each story and hang on.

In "The Merchant and the Alchemist's Gate," an alchemist invents a time portal that, when one steps through it, travels exactly twenty years into the future. A common story, perhaps, but in Chiang's capable hands, the story keeps growing, re-shaping itself, bringing characters into completely different roles whether in the past, present, or future where they could possibly (or actually) influence the course of history. What would you do with such an invention? Sit back and find out, but it won't be what you expected.

"Dacey's Patent Automatic Nanny" describes the first automated child-raising robot, an experiment to provide all necessities to a baby to ensure the perfect upbringing. Of course, there are problems. But it is the calm, intellectual reasoning behind this story that separates if from a run-of-the-mill robot gone wrong tale.

Then there is a story, "The Great Silence" narrated by a parrot who wonders why mankind seeks intelligent life in the galaxy when he and his fellow sentient parrots are sitting right next to them, about to be made extinct before given the opportunity to talk with humans. Next, in the story "Omphalos," an anthropologist finds fossils (and a mummified man with no belly button) that prove Earth and all its inhabitants were created fully formed on a specific date, not evolved as is widely believed. How does mankind handle this sort of information? 

There's a description of a hand-held device that proves all actions in the world are already fated, not the result of free will. In one brilliant story, a man examines his own robotic brain to realize the human mind is gradually slowing down and their seemingly eternal life is very slowly dying.

Each story really makes readers concentrate, ask themselves questions, and try to understand implications of plots and actions that change the thinking of human since the world begin. Fantastic.

So buckle up and open you mind in every story to new directions and challenges to preconceived notions. Like his first collection, Stories of Your Life and Others (which contains "Story of Your Life" about extraterrestrial contact used as the basis for the Amy Adams film, Arrival). Highly recommended for all readers.

Happy reading. 

Fred

Other book recommendations
About The First Sentence Reader blog

____________________

If this book interests you, be sure to check out:

Chiang, Ted. Stories of Your Life and Others.   

Excellent, thought-provoking Sci-Fi stories involving alien landing on Earth, the construction of the tallest building in history that hits a previously-unknown solid ceiling enclosing the world, and many more exciting, fascinating stories.

Fifty Years of Great Writing

Fleder, Rob. Fifty Years of Great Writing: Sports Illustrated 1954-2004. New York: Sports Illustrated Books. 2003. Print.

First Sentences:

The fact that the great piece has shown up again and again in SI is the result of a contentious conspiracy between the magazine's writers and their editors..

The way magazine journalism is supposed to work is that the best editors match the perfect idea with the idea writer and wait for a brilliant run of words. This is followed )with plenty of time before deadline) by the simple exercise of hooking paragraphs and helping with the diction here and there. Nothing to it. Right.

Description:

If you've ever had a burning desire to become a published writer, a reality check might be in order. Consider reading Fifty Years of Great Writing: Sports Illustrated 1954-2004 (edited by Rob Fleder) to see how skilled writers ply their craft. 

Can anyone write as well as the writers represented in pieces contained in this volume? Frank Deford, Alexander Wolff, George Plimpton, Roy Blount Jr., George Plimpton, Leigh Montville, Roger Kahn, Dan Jenkins, and Steve Rushin. There are even articles by authors not on the Sports Illustrated staff you may have heard of, including William Faulkner, Garrison Keillor, Jimmy Breslin, and Wallace Stegner. All you aspiring authors, match your own thoughts and words with any one of these writers and stories, then select a new career.

And the wonderful events and people they write about! Casey Stengel and his woeful Mets; Roger Bannister and John Landy facing off in a race as the only men ever to have broken the four-minute mile; Arnold Palmer's U.S. Open win by overtaking Jack Nicklaus and Ben Hogan; Yogi Berra as manager of the Yankees giving off quotes that are compared to the words of yoga masters; Bobby Thompson's homer.

But even better is when a writer pulls you into a story about something that previously you had no interest in. Archie Moore at the ancient age of 37 making his boxing debut at Madison Square Garden; the Rattlesnake Roundup at Mangum, OK; playing a baseball game with retired former Chicago Cub players; a cross-country car trip with basketball great Bill Russell; the death of racehorse Secretariat.

There is plenty of humor as well. the Lake Woebegone Whippets facing Babe Ruth; the mysterious Sidd Finch throwing his 150-mph fastball; high-speed driving on the deadly Nurburgring track in a convertible with a motorcycle sidecar.

The most unsettling thing about driving 142 mph on the German autobahn in James Bond's convertible with the top dropped is not the sudden realization that your head juts above the windshield, so that any airborne object -- a pebble, a lug nut, the shedding payload of a flatbed truck -- will forever be embedded in in your coconut, like the coins and keys you sometimes see in the hot asphalt of city street.

This volume contains my favorite sports writing of all time: Ted Williams' final game by Leigh Montville, tributes to sportswriter Jim Murray (whom I read every day growing up) by Rick Reilly; and owner Bill Veeck by William Barry Furlong. To read about your heroes in words so clear, so powerful, so honest is the joy of this volume. 

Sports may not be the be all or end all of the world, but these short works by masterful writers make these athletes and their contests seem larger than life as well as deeply intimate. They touch an inner respect many of us hold for those who struggle, compete, fail and triumph to rise to the top of their profession.  

This is an illusionary business...The fan comes away from the ballpark with nothing more to show for it than what's in his mind, an ephemeral feeling of having been entertained. You've got to heighten and preserve that illusion. You have to give him more vivid pictures to carry away in his head. [Bill Veeck]

Happy reading. 

Fred

www.firstsentencereader.blogspot.com

____________________

If this book interests you, be sure to check out:

Halberstam, David. The Best American Sports Writing of the Century

The absolute finest is sports writing from the best writers ever, including Frank Deford, Red Smith, Tom Wolfe, Jimmy Cannon, W.C. Heinz, Richard Cramer, and even Hunter Thompson, Covers major events and personalities from all areas of sports. Fantastic, a must-read for any sports lover or just someone who appreciate good writing about interesting topics. 

A Sound of Thunder

Bradbury, Ray. A Sound of Thunder & Other Stories. New York: HarperCollins. 1990. Print.

First Sentences:

Out there in the cold water, far from land, we waited every night for the coming of the fog, and it came, and we oiled the brass machinery and lit the fog light up in the stone tower.

Feeling like two birds in the gray sky, McDunn and I sent the light touching out, red, then white, then red again, to eye the lonely ships..

Description:

After reading any one of the science fiction/fantasy stories in Ray Bradbury's A Sound of Thunder & Other Stories, I had to put the book down and reflect. The plot, the characters, the writing were so strong, so real, so interesting that I couldn't just plunge into the next story right away. I needed time to roll the images and events over and over in my mind. Read a sample sentence for yourself.

The darkness like a velvet shroud hung before her to be stroked by a trembling hand, with the darkness like a black panther breathing there, looking at her with unlit eyes...

With none of the usual ray guns and aliens often found in sci-fi/fantasy literature, A Sound of Thunder gives tales of people facing challenges familiar to all of us: love, uncertainty, obsession, racism, decision, and adventure. Yet each one is told in a unique voice, making the situation and people uniquely fascinating and compelling. Here's what I mean:

• A lighthouse fog horn that calls out to the lonely ocean and a creature millions of years old responds;

• A rocket ship pilot, on leave with his family at his home, simply cannot resist the call of space;

• A baseball game at a resort between the white guests and the black staff;

• A murderer obsessed with erasing every fingerprint he might have left at the crime scene;

• A hunter who time-travels back to confront a T-Rex;

• A young woman who contemplates her impending rocket ride to Mars where she will marry her waiting boyfriend.

These are people with dreams, with pride, morals, passion, and of course greed, bigotry, and ego. Each story is written by a master of words, sucking you into the plot and motivations immediately and hold on through the final paragraph. 

[The foghorn's voice was] like an empty bed beside you all night long, and like an empty house when you open the door, and like trees in autumn with no leaves. A sound like the birds flying south, crying, and a sound like November wind and the sea on the hard, cold shore....a sound that's so alone that no one can miss it, that whoever hears it will weep in their souls, and hearths will seem warmer, and being inside will seem better to all who hear it in the distant towns....whoever hears it will know the sadness of eternity and the briefness of life.

And that's just one random paragraph, full of Bradbury's images and imagination. In A Sound of Thunder, you have 300+ pages of equally compelling, breath-taking writing. Simply the best characters, plots and writing there is. 

Happy reading. 


Fred

www.firstsentencereader.blogspot.com

____________________

If this book interests you, be sure to check out:

Bradbury, Ray. The Martian Chronicles

Chronological science fiction stories about the exploration of Mars by Man, from the first ships to the final days of Earth. Fabulous. (previously reviewed here)

Juliet in August

Warren, Dianne. Juliet in August. New York: Putnam. 2010. Print.

First Sentences:

It was the end of August, before the Perry Land and Cattle Company's fall gather, and the ranch cowboys had too much time on their hands

They were standing around the dusty yard watching the horses swat flies with their tails when the young buck, Ivan Dodge, somehow managed to convinced on of the old veteran cowboys -- Henry Merchant was his name -- to meet his challenge of a hundred-mile horse race through the dunes and the grasslands of the Little Snake Hills.

Description:

Just after finishing Dianne Warren's uniquely satisfying novel Juliet in August, I had a dream that included her characters. It's not often a book affects with me like that, but such is the staying power of Warren's tales of people living in a small town on the edge of the western United States.

Warren, a noted short story writer, offers chapters of seemingly stand-alone tales of strong, independent people. But eventually the characters and stories overlap as the townspeople of the small town of Juiliet run into each other, talk about their neighbors, help friends with problems, and reminisce on legends of historical figures and events. What emerges is a wide-ranging glimpse into one town's people, their relationships, and the environment they call home.

The wind blows until dawn, releasing the past, howling at the boundaries of the present. The land forever changing shape.

In Juliet over a two-day period, there emerges the story of an Arabian horse that escapes from its trailer and wanders to a nearby farm, only to be found by a farmer and ridden on a meandering 100-mile ride through the countryside. Then there is rancher heavily in debt who contemplates the evilness of the banker who won't extend his loan one more time. Contrasted with this story are the episodes in that same banker's life as he sadly contemplates what actions he must take against his friends who cannot repay money owed to the bank. Then there's the lovely, slow-developing relationship between a drive-in movie theater owner and a quiet widow who happens to be his sister-in-law. 

He hopes he won't turn into one of those old bachelors who sleeps in the same sheets until they wear out, and then doesn't bother with sheets at all, and eventually doesn't bother washing the one dirty plate, just gives it to the dog to lick and calls it good enough.

There are so many similar characters revealed through solid tales of these real people trying to understand and succeed in relationships with family, friends, and their own inner beings.

This is a lovely collection of stories woven into a novel of the life of individuals intertwined in a small town. Warren is a master storyteller, but more importantly someone with a clear knowledge of the emotions, hopes, and uncertainties felt by people in this tiny town as well as in the world. Best of all, Juliet in August is expertly written in a sure hand, with words flowing gently like a quiet stream lulling you into dreaminess.

Lee is not the only one who is restless, awake.

Open windows encourage air to circulate, curtains barely moving in what can't quite be called a breeze. Air conditioners and overhead fans, bedsprings and pillow-top mattresses shifting under the weight of sleepless bodies, radios turned to all-night talk stations. A rooster crowing, confused about the time of day. The yip of coyotes, cattle bawling, tires spinning on gravel. The ping of a bullet ricocheting off a metal highway sign. A match rasping across a rough surface.  The sound of laughter, a whispered shhhh. 

A brilliant read, one not soon forgotten (as I found out). Highly recommended.

Happy reading. 

Fred

www.firstsentencereader.blogspot.com

____________________

If this book interests you, be sure to check out:

Young, Carrie. Nothing To Do But Stay

Wonderful recollections about the people and life in the small farming community on the North Dakota plains. (previously reviewed here)

Haruf, Kent. Plainsong

More wonderful recollections about the people and life in the small farming community on the North Dakota plains.

Coplin, Amanda. The Orchardist

A reclusive rancher takes in two pregnant runaway teen girls and faces the questions of how his and their lives will change by this action. (previously reviewed here)